1. “Forgetting” to add them to meeting invite lists when they are responsible for something in that meeting
2. “Forgetting” to add them to email threads that directly involve them or their teams.
3. Interrupting them constantly
4. Feeling the need to go above and beyond in the “I’m just playing devil’s advocate” department in every single conversation
5. Failing to invite them to participate in social interactions with co-workers (“Oh, I didn’t think you’d be interested”)
6. Assuming they should be the person on the hook for all diversity and inclusion recruiting and knowledge.
7. Arguing about the state of women in technology with THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE ROOM.
8. Insist on letting them know each and every time they are not included on a “need to know” matter, and making sure they know you are.
9. Complain that you feel left out of events for and by women at work, especially complaining about events where it is clearly stated that ALL are welcome, but you just don’t feel comfortable attending. (Or attending these events then arguing with the women in attendance about the state of women in technology despite all evidence contrary to your point of view)
10. Not being an ally in countering all of the many people who are doing 1-9. (without advocates and allies, we will always be fighting these same battles)
(Apparently 10 were not enough. Here are a few more that have come to mind after the initial post:
11. Identify “leadership” potential as what most sensible people would equate with bullying or narcissism.
12. Immediately forgive and forget any bad behavior from male counter parts, but cling relentlessly to one outburst of emotion that happened many years ago as a way to point out she is “too emotional” at work.
13. Forget that the great idea or the new connection you are counting as your own was actually hers. Double down by offering to explain the idea to her, explain the strategic significance of the idea or contact, or offer to make an introduction (to the person she introduced you to).